At some point we all need just a little break from the daily stresses of life. Maybe your vice is wine, chocolate, or a massage but mine is playing with makeup. This post is a little different from my usual, it’s more of a rant. I seriously need to make a section on this blog called “shit my son says”. Anyway let me give you some background on this kid. He’s 15 years old, is the youngest and only boy, has always been very laid back in attitude and action, is smart when it’s something he’s interested in, can be a jerk or the most caring person in the world, stands up for what he believes in, always tells the truth (even when it sucks), extremely funny, loves animals, a bit of a hypochondriac, and he has the craziest outlook on things.  Even when I REALLY don’t want to laugh at him I will because otherwise I might cry.

When he was 9 we were visiting his grandparents, who live by a river, and he asked my mother where the water goes when it’s flushed down the toilet! She kept the response simple and said “it goes to the river”. He then hatched a plan to make paper men and a poop boat. He poops in the toilet sits his paper men on it then comes downstairs  and  asks us to take him to the river to find his men!

His sister carried him home from school,until I found out, up until 3rd grade. I asked why she did it and she said “he sits on someone’s lawn and refuses to get up unless I carry him and I can’t leave him!” My response in front of him was “yes you can. If he doesn’t walk tomorrow leave him on that person’s lawn they can have him” he walked from that point on.

The first time he heard an amber alert he wouldn’t leave my side for 6 months!!! I finally had to say “you are a 180lb 6ft tall kid and we’re not rich so nobody is going to kidnap you!” He got over it and finally let me use the bathroom alone.

His motto on school is he learned everything school could teach him by 6th grade so that’s where it should end. Starting to get the picture now?

Back to the present: We move and he transfers from a city catholic school to a suburban public school right after his 6th grade year (where he feels he’s graduated and done with school). His new middle school is grades 7-9. In orientation for 7th grade they tell him 70 credits are required to graduate. He interprets that as having 70 credits to “spend” so since he doesn’t want to use them all up he picks 4 study halls in his roster so he “can save his credits and not spend them all because study halls don’t use up your credits”  in 8th grade they put him in an organization class to teach him how to organize and check his school bag every day. Good concept but failed to help my son. It’s now his 9th grade year and he fails math and English and has to repeat the year. His failing was impart due to his laziness,his unorganization, and not turning in schoolwork.

Here is our conversation this morning:

Me: You have to call your guidance councilor to talk about your roster next year.

Him: Why? I don’t care about school or what teachers I will have.

Me: I know that’s why you failed. Make the call or I will. Don’t  you want to have teachers that you like next year?

Him: I don’t like or dislike any of them. (I give him the evil eye) Ok fine I will call but she’s not going to tell me anything I don’t already know.

He calls mumbles a couple yeahs and okays and disconnects the call without even saying goodbye.

Me: What did she say?

Him: Nothing I didn’t already know.

Me: I’m going to punch you (yes. I resorted to a violent threat) if you don’t tell me what she said. (He laughs cause he’s quadruple my size and I can’t hurt him even if I tried).

Him: She took away all my study halls and gave me electives.

Me: Good now you can start “spending your credits”

Him: I have always failed at school. It’s not my thing. College is 4 years away and my brain isn’t just going to change. I’m going to be a laborer when I’m done school.

At that point I needed a BEAUTY BREAK and applying makeup gets me focused on something else and relaxes me enough to speak reasonably again. I also love a good face mask with a nice relaxing aroma and a minty feeling. Even if it’s only a 15 minute mask it’s still a break from reality.  I’m probably going to look like a clown by the time he gets to 12th grade!

We would like to hear what you do for a break from reality.

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